He Used to be Mine

“Breakin’ up is hard to do.”

I don’t like writing about my relationships but I think breaking a record for longest relationship after having a series of one and two month flings for the last four years says something positive about my love life.

There is hope. It is possible to love again and again. I can love and I can be loved back.

Albeit only 8 months, my recent relationship has been my longest. My other longest relationship was merely half a year. Along the way, I’ve learned so much about myself: my flaws, my strengths, what makes me happy, and what I do to make my boyfriend happy as well.

I’ve compared how different I am as a single man and a man in a relationship and I realize that even though it wasn’t visible, I’ve put the relationship first many times which places my goals and aspirations second. But what do I want more? A relationship or to be successful in my career and health? Can both be accomplished at the same time?

I can only do my best. I can only take it one day at a time, live in the moment, and not worry what I’m doing right or wrong. If he thinks I’m doing something wrong in the relationship, it shouldn’t be his responsibility to change me. It should be my choice to change or improve and if I can’t do that, then he accepts me or he must move on to someone else who is doing it right. But he has every right to bring it up in the first place for a cordial discussion and not in an argument. Constant arguing isn’t normal in a relationship, no matter who says it is. And, trust should be given freely until broken.

I am not a love doctor or a therapist. Those are just my thoughts. You will love again and you will be loved again. Don’t fret.


All Writers Should Be Acting Too

The stage manager calls places. The actors, including myself, scramble to get their last pieces of costume on and touch up their makeup once more. I stand up, walk to where I’ll enter on stage, and take a deep breath. Thoughts of doubt enter my mind as I wonder if I’ll forget my lines or blocking, or if someone else will forget theirs. But I stay positive either way. Whatever happens will happen, and we will get through the show scene by scene, as perfectly as we can. The lights go down. I get ready to enter the stage but before I do I ask myself, “Why the hell am I saying these words?”

A writer tends to criticize other people’s writing in the same way artists criticize other artists. I’m no Aaron Sorkin but it’s important to go through a character analysis and even a script analysis and sit down with your director and ask why you’re character says what they say and how it should be said. A good director won’t show you how to read your lines but will explain the motivation behind it.

Ever since I began acting on stage again, I felt it has been beneficial to my writing process. I analyze the scenes I’m in and begin to see the importance of the scene and the dialogue in it. In order to become better in the craft, a writer should act in a few local theater productions for many reasons. Here’s why:

  • First, you’ll understand the courage an actor needs to be onstage. What you request of an actor to do and say onstage should be beneficial to the story and or signify a theme.
  • You’ll begin to understand emotions. Every actor goes through an emotion within each scene. What is your character feeling?
  • You’ll see the hard work that goes into memorizing lines and developing a character from the actor’s point-of-view. What you envision as the character might not be what the actor brings to life. Clarify the personality through description and dialogue, and also through the character’s “voice”.
  • “Voice” is how the character speaks. If the character is Southern, they’re likely to leave out the “g” in words ending with -ing. A writer may not realize they’re utilizing the same voice for each character. Once you’ve experienced acting, you’ll notice that each character is distinct in the way they speak and you’ll develop a different voice for each character.
  • You’ll notice if the lines sound natural. Phrasing can become a big issue in your dialogue. Reading your script aloud could assist with this issue.

Acting is also beneficial for other reasons. While acting in local theater, you meet more people and you can bring those personality traits to the characters you create. Acting also boosts your confidence and helps you to become more of an extrovert.

How has acting benefited you or your writing?


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