He Used to be Mine

“Breakin’ up is hard to do.”

I don’t like writing about my relationships but I think breaking a record for longest relationship after having a series of one and two month flings for the last four years says something positive about my love life.

There is hope. It is possible to love again and again. I can love and I can be loved back.

Albeit only 8 months, my recent relationship has been my longest. My other longest relationship was merely half a year. Along the way, I’ve learned so much about myself: my flaws, my strengths, what makes me happy, and what I do to make my boyfriend happy as well.

I’ve compared how different I am as a single man and a man in a relationship and I realize that even though it wasn’t visible, I’ve put the relationship first many times which places my goals and aspirations second. But what do I want more? A relationship or to be successful in my career and health? Can both be accomplished at the same time?

I can only do my best. I can only take it one day at a time, live in the moment, and not worry what I’m doing right or wrong. If he thinks I’m doing something wrong in the relationship, it shouldn’t be his responsibility to change me. It should be my choice to change or improve and if I can’t do that, then he accepts me or he must move on to someone else who is doing it right. But he has every right to bring it up in the first place for a cordial discussion and not in an argument. Constant arguing isn’t normal in a relationship, no matter who says it is. And, trust should be given freely until broken.

I am not a love doctor or a therapist. Those are just my thoughts. You will love again and you will be loved again. Don’t fret.


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